my cousin accidently texted me instead of his wife

cousin: guess who's got two thumbs, a dick, and wants to rub himself against you like a tom cat in heat? THIS GUY. [nude picture of said cousin pointing at himself with both thumbs and an erection]
cousin: oh fuck oh fuck
cousin: broomy oh fuck no don't look shut your eyes
me: I NEVER KNEW YOU FELT THIS WAY
me: OUR LOVE IS FORBIDDEN BUT STRONG
cousin: no please don't
me: COME, MY WILD AND YOWLING TOM CAT. COME AND TAKE ME FOR I AM YOURS FOREVER.
cousin: I hate you.

So we were sitting in class today

lokisprotege:

margaretthemagicdragon:

and my U.S. History teacher was trying to get us to understand why it was such a big deal that England had put a tax on colonial sugar, and he goes,

"What if you had to pay a tax every time you logged onto wifi?"

And the whole class just went

image

and I heard at least two people whisper “I would murder someone”

The perfect comparison. 

(via summers-by-the-sea)



im-super-im-natural:

Groomsman reacting to this newly married man’s ring. 
Best wedding photo ever.

im-super-im-natural:

Groomsman reacting to this newly married man’s ring. 

Best wedding photo ever.

(via shesgonepreppy)


 Last messages from Survivors and Students trapped inside the ferry
... PRAY FOR SOUTH KOREA

(via nanalew)



faultinourstarsmovie:

One note = one vote. Like or reblog to vote for your state! Go South Carolina! http://thefaultinourstarsmovie.com/demandourstars 

faultinourstarsmovie:

One note = one vote. Like or reblog to vote for your state! Go South Carolina! http://thefaultinourstarsmovie.com/demandourstars 

(via ryannntroxell)


castielscamander:

can we just bask in the glory of beatles sass

(via summers-by-the-sea)


crayonguy:

Bunny master post

(via tastefullyoffensive)